His love letter to me, his daughter.

"My Dear Daughter. 

I have missed your words and your heart. I miss the poems you write about Me, and the love you used to write in the pages of your journal. I miss your eyes on My Word, and your tears that fall on the pages of them. I miss you. I don't need your actions, Trish. I don't need anything from you, but I do need you to know that I want them. I love to hear from you. Like a far away husband who yearns for his wife's love letters, I yearn for you. My child, I do not want harm or hurt on you. I do not want you to go through pain and suffering, but because of the sin in this world, you will encounter it. I see the pain that you are going though, and I need you to know that I am here for you. That I am with you and I am fighting for you. I am praying on your behalf, that you would overcome these trials. You can cling to me. You can hold tight to my promises, and me because I will never fail you. I will never leave you. You need to believe that and trust that. I need you to believe that you cannot do anything to earn anything I offer You. That just like when I came to you and you became mine- you can do nothing to earn my love for you. It is only because of Jesus that you can hear Me, and you can feel Me. It is only because of Jesus that you can love me and yearn for me. 

Trust that I am the only One who can give you strength and endurance. 
Do not take credit for the love that you have for Me or for anyone else. Do not take credit for anything, my dear. Know that you are to serve My children and keep it silent, but trust that I see your heart and your actions. You do not need the approval of man. You do not need to boast in your good works- for even those works are not of your own. I am leading you and Josh. Trust that. Trust that what is going on between you and Joshua is a good thing. That I am the center of your relationship, and there is nothing anyone can say or do that will diminish the power that I have over that. Trust that I will be along side both of you on your wedding day. That I will be walking you down the aisle, and leading you into marriage. I will be the one to bring you out of hard times when you think you cannot make it anymore. I will be your strength when you want to give up.  Trisha- I need you to know that I will always be here for you. That even if you wander into darkness that I will still be along side you. That there is no darkness that is too dark for me. And no sin too deep for Me to bring you out of it.  

Trust that I'm not done with you. 
I have so much in store for you.
And that I will not end the good works I have started in you. 
 
I love you. 
Daddy-God."

honest first.

I've never really had a blog before- nor have i ever really desired one. But moving from a small town into a bigger one, and then a huge city has made me feel... small, and a little insignificant. its made me feel free, but also trapped in my own struggles. feeling alone and like an inconvenience. 

writing down my life and my 'feelings' has always made me cling to Jesus. it makes me realize that I am small, and that i really don't have everything put together, but that with Jesus, none of that really matters. 

I've decided to start a blog so that I can express myself a little bit, and not feel like I have to hide from the people who have hurt me, or ones who don't know things that are going on in my life. 
it feels good to be able to not capitalize letters if i don't want to 
and not add a stupid comma if i don't feel like it. 

feels good.

so. here's to nothing too crazy- but a start of a new blog. 
hopefully one that is 
raw
simple
honest 
and holy. 

to start off, here's an unedited picture of me. in the moment of my first, surprisingly scary, blog post. 

horray for births!